May. 19th, 2010

19.05.10

May. 19th, 2010 08:29 am
whitenoise: (phoenix)
So, I *kinda* had The Talk with The Husband last night. It went a lot better than I thought, especially since he was concerned since I seemed really preoccupied and spacey lately--I can tell he wanted to just laugh at how awkward/nervous I was being but he didn't. Basically, his take on it is if it happens, it happens, and he's fine with it being something I want to pursue--we won't have me go on birth control, and we won't use anything else and just see what happens. I told him that I kept *thinking* it was a bad idea but I really couldn't quantify why, and he thinks it's just a case of me being so used to talking myself out of things--because I don't trust my gut, or my own decision-making abilities. And I think that's quite true, it's like I need an army backing up every minute decision I make.

I told him it would annoy Iain, and like he said--Iain will be 16 in a couple years, and if he wants to leave for uni or get his own place he'll technically be able to. The housing association can place us somewhere else if he tells them we have a baby on the way--the only downside being I kinda like where we are now since it's right in town center and I doubt we could find a three bedroom this close : / I told him it'd just annoy the kids, and I was scared since everyone's lives seem so settled right now. Steve then pointed out that it isn't acceptable that everyone's life be happy and comfortable while I'm sad because I'm missing out on something--but maybe that's something I just accept without even thinking about it. But it makes sense, and it is quite silly to expect myself to just put these feelings away just so Iain isn't inconvenienced in any slight way (it's not like we'd make him babysit or change nappies or stick the baby in his room). But then that little voice in the back of my head tells me I'm being selfish and stepping into a world I know *nothing* about.

I know my head isn't in the best place sometimes, with my anxieties and depression. But if I keep waiting until The Perfect time, I'll be here till I'm 50 waiting for everything to be super perfect, and I can't do that. I don't want Steve to be nearing retirement when I decide we need to have a baby or whatever (not that it would work, but you know what I mean). And I might end up even surprising myself--yeah, babies are *a fuckton* of work, but they also fucking rock as well, and I think it's just the next stage in our relationship now that we're married and settled.

I'm also tired of waiting until my next visa is sorted--that seems my excuse for everything. Steve said not to worry about it, and we may not concieve until after October 2011 anyway so it might be a moot point (since by then we should all know what our timelines look like). I'm not saying I need to be pregnant next month or whatever, but it is something I'm thinking I want to prepare for at least--sort out stuff with the doctor (will someone please make my appointment so I don't end up being a chicken shit?), etc.

So, Steve knows I want to do it, and he's on board--but he says I can't micromanage it either, and urgh. I go nutter if I can't plan something out to the T, and while I know some people really try to plan their babies I'm not sure we can as much. All I can do is keep track of my cycles and become more aware of them and go from there--and if anybody can make babies, it's certainly Steve (Aidan and Ella are only a year apart for Cthulhu's sake).

Weirdly enough, he's more worried about his exams on the 4th--he's scared since this stuff is almost degree-quality coursework and he doesn't feel up to the task. He scraped by in school--not because he didn't know the stuff, but he says he's rubbish at taking tests. I think he feels really inadequate when it comes to these sorts of things, especially since most of the stuff he learned at DHL was on the job sorts of things--proving to the managers he could do the stuff they needed of him, without a fucking piece of paper *saying* he could. And really, he does come from a generation where you could graduate high school and work your way into pretty decent jobs, and to a certain extent you can today as well, but many jobs seem to be so focused on qualifications you can show on paper. He said if he didn't pass this test he'd drop out of Transport and go back to Operations, and he seemed really sad when he said it--I know he can do it, but that may not be enough : /

So, to summarize--to my husband, having a fourth child (for him) is *less* scary than taking a test.

And in slightly less serious news, we have a daylight Naxx raid this morning--there's a group of us in Ebon Phoenix who play during the day who are trying to get small groups together to do raids/dungeons/acheesements during the day. One chick is pretty awesome--Healiana. She talks to me a lot since she's home during the day with her three kids, and they all live in Sweden, and she seems pretty nice. She tries to include me in the daytime stuff ('hey, Alyza, we need some dps'), and she asked me if we wanted to create a group that goes after hard-to-get mounts from dungeons and shit. We also have a 'group' (not official) that is looking to finish our Glory of the Hero achievements, which isn't easy (you know how bad my computer lags doing Zombiefest? ubg;jgfgjfg).

What's really cute is Healiana and another member of our guild met up, and I think they fancy each other. He's from Denmark and went to visit her, and they got on quite well, and it's all awww and stuff. Another couple in our guild is engaged, and the guild leader and forum monkey are boyfriend/girlfriend as well (from Brighton--the engaged couple is from Sheffield). And who knows, me and Steve might make the first couple in the guild to have a baby?

Now it's time to go study the Heigan safety dance again (lololol) before 12pm. This post didn't really make any sense, and I'm sure it doesn't read very well, but meh.

~Tams
whitenoise: (4thofjuly)
Just some info I'm putting down here more for my own information than anything else. I've been researching what we'll need to do to register our baby's birth when it comes time, so I'm keeping this handy list available.

[Registration of Overseas Birth]
* long form British birth certificate
* US marriage certificate
* my US passport
* divorce decrees for Steve (nisi and absolute)
* DS-2029 form (use pg 2 for social security number)
* $65.00 fee, cash or pounds sterling
* appointment confirmation sheet
* other evidence of physical presence in US (i.e. school transcripts)

[Obtaining a US Passport]
* child's UK passport (if applicable)
* DS-11 form (ignore pgs 1-2 if in UK)
* 2 identical passport sized photos (must meet US requirements, no vending machines/home print-outs)
* $85.00 fee, cash or pounds sterling
* self-address Royal Mail envelope (speical delivery)
* parents' US and UK passport
* birth certificate

Damn. It'd have to be a day trip on the train for me and Steve to do all of this, and we'd have to get the photos done in London since I don't know of any places in Northampton who will do US sizes (but I'll keep an eye out). I only looked the specific requirements up since Steve was asking about them last night.

~Tams

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