whitenoise: (moon)

A few months ago, I started going purely friend's-only for my entries. And I don't really have a distinct place to mention that, so yeah, I'm friend's only. Comment here to be added if you know me from somewhere (and please say where--WoW, someplace I frequent online, whatever).
whitenoise: (Default)
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

~Dune, Frank Herbert


Sep. 16th, 2011 08:20 am
whitenoise: (cherryblossombooks)
I think managing to avoid getting the cold or flu for 2 years living in the UK was a pretty decent run of my immune system. I've had a few stomach bugs since moving here, and allergy stuff, but nothing major. And this isn't major either, just fucking annoying--I hate not being able to breathe properly. I have to sleep propped up, and I keep waking up because I can't breathe properly--fail. I think Steve has it now too, he was starting to sound kinda bad last night and was stuffy this morning, but I think he'll take this compared to a flare up. Problem is, the other manager is on holiday for 4 weeks in Poland (wtf?) so Steve can't really take any time off of work, but hopefully it'll have burnt itself out by Monday for him.

We're trying to convince Aidan not to come over this weekend. Iain won't because he's lazy, Ella's staying home since she hurt her ankle and needs to keep off of it for a few days, but Aidan still wants to come around despite this being the house of the black death. He says he doesn't care if he gets sick (what kid really doesn't) but I don't think Linzi would like it, and as much as I detest her, I don't like getting other people sick. Steve's going to have a word with him after work and chances are he'll just stay at his mom's--it's not like we'll be doing anything extraordinary this weekend anyway -.-

But, on top of being stuffy, I started PMSing bad the other day. So, it's like my body is doing all it's bad stuff in one go, which is nice I suppose, I'd hate for my cold to get better but then I start doing my monthly thing. I've started keeping track of it on google calendar since, while it's regular, I oftentimes have to sit and really think about when my cycle is (doctors just love it when I do that). So, I just keep tabs on it on my calendar so I can have some idea. It's fairly regular at least, and while we haven't technically be trying for a baby recently (I won't go into details why, it's just something kinda outside of our control) I'm still a bit miffed it came on. But, whatever I guess.

I'm trying to decide if I want to read Dune again. It's been a while since I last read it, but I also need to make a dent in my Wheel of Time series. Urgh, choices. But I have the urge for some space drama, and I have the soundtrack, and I don't know. God, me and my horrible problems in life, I don't know how I do it sometimes :P

I also quietly removed some people from my friend's list. Just couldn't really be arsed anymore, it was more trouble than it was worth. Wish them the best of luck I suppose, but I wasn't feeling particularly comfortable on LJ anymore because of it. The end.


Nov. 8th, 2010 09:24 am
whitenoise: (Default)
omg, you guys--this last week sucked.

I haven't gotten sick in years I don't think--maybe a sniffly nose here or there, but nothing noteworthy. I didn't even get a flu shot last year since by the time they became available in places like Superdrug or Boots it was November, and I got lazy and forgot.

This year though, I made up for it. I got the mother of flus last week that I'm still recovering from. I don't know wtf it is/was, except that I had a hellacious fever, chills, aches, and 'digestive issues' that I won't go into. I wasn't stuffy, didn't have coughing or congestion or anything, just the fever and my stomach.

I'm like 90% better now--the fever broke on Friday, so the chills and aches and headache went away. I'm still having tummy issues and I'm not sure what to do with those : / On one hand, I get loads of sympathy from Steve who's suffered through his mountain of stomach issues, but then again I imagine he thinks this is small hat to when he lost 6 stone in 2 weeks and had to be hospitalized for 4 days when they diagnosed his Crohn's.

It also had to be one of two of his busiest weeks at work (the other being this week, then he's off next week). So, on top of 10 hour days (along with sorting stuff out here at home via phone) he had to do all the housework--he didn't bitch once, and wouldn't let me do anything, which left me feeling awkward. Even this weekend, when I was starting to rise from the dead, he banned me from laundry duty :( Thankfully I should be able to take over this week, but last week I was just completely wiped out.

Oh, and holy shit--less than a month till Cataclysm :O I won't get Loremaster before then, I'm stuck on Outland a bit (one quest here, one quest there type of thing) and this flu has zapped all energy I had for it :( I find myself just wanting to screw around on a baby alt somewhere for the next 30 days, and being lazy--I'm burnt out on my 80s.

Steve might also get the new computer he commissioned his IT workmate/friend to build. He's going around to this guy's house on the 15th since they'll both be on vacation and he'll load WoW on the rig. He might be bringing it home that day if it's ready to go. I r jealous, since it's going to be a beast of a rig that will run WoW beautifully, but it's Steve's birthday present to himself, so it makes me happy for him.



Sep. 8th, 2010 08:34 am
whitenoise: (Default)
30 Day Blog Challenge--Topic #4: Your Favorite Movie

Because I can't pick anything as a favorite to save my life, I'll put this in a top five format--except they're in no particular order.

1.) Lord of the Rings: I don't think a lot needs to be said here. One of those movies that I find almost absolutely flawless, and one that gives the novel it's based on a run for its money (most movies based on books are shite). As a teenager, it introduced me to Tolkien's work, which I wasn't familiar with at the time for a variety of reasons, biggest among them being that I must of had a very sheltered childhood. It wasn't that I didn't read--on the contrary, I read loads. It just wasn't a book I had tried to read until I saw the movie, and now I think I have like 3 copies of it somehow.

2.) Kill Bill Vol. 1: I know it's really, at it's core, a senseless movie. The plot is a bit thin, but a part of me loves the mindless violence in it. I may not be Tarantino's biggest fan, but the movie is beautifully filmed, the actors are strong, and the music is top-notch. It's one of those movies that I can just watch and get lost in--a bit like reading Stephen King. It may not be 'thought provoking' or 'deep' but it's damn fun.

3.) Shogun: This was filmed a long time ago, but I remember watching it as a kid and being amazed at how epic it was. My mom is a big fan of James Clavell's work and taped the movie on VHS (omg, that was a long time ago) and even as a kid I really got into it. I didn't always understand what was happening, but it's a movie I could watch over and over and never get tired of it.

4.) Night of the Living Dead (original): Another movie from my teenage years. I first saw it when they played it on the Sci Fi channel, and it was the rare movie that genuinely creeped me out. It was low budget, in black and white, and a few of the scenes were a little gratutitous and cheesy, but George Romero pulled it off. The entire premise of having a group of people stuck out in the country, in a rickety old farmhouse with zombies trying to get in was bloody scary--especially since they had little defenses, bickering between the survivors, and the ending just made me facepalm (I won't spoil it, even though I think most people have seen it by now). It wasn't a pretty film, but the black and white is what made it even scarier IMO, and like the others on this list, I don't get tired of watching it.

5.) The Descent: A more modern horror film, of the British variety (the director also directed Dog Soldiers I believe). It plays on a lot of people's most primal fears--fear of the dark, being stuck underground, etc. While you're watching the film, you're thinking about how you'd get out of there (or if you're like me, you'd be saying 'bitch, I'd never go down there in the first place!'). It's gory, but not excessively--it's applied right where it's needed for the biggest effect. It's chaotic in places, slow in others, and if you don't jump at least once when you first see it, then you're a better person than I am.


Sep. 2nd, 2010 08:48 am
whitenoise: (Default)
OMG, fucking Flame Levithian for the weekly. Someone at Blizzard has a sick sense of humor.

Moving on, Day 3 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge--my favorite song. Oh gods, this is going to suck.

I can't limit it to one song. I know that's a bit of a cliche answer and all that, but I honestly can't do it. But I can narrow it down to one album...kinda. A month or so ago I bought 'This Delicate Thing We've Made' by Darren Hayes off of Amazon's mp3 service (pretty awesome and a tiny bit cheaper than itunes as well). I have been a fan of his for years, since his Savage Garden days--they were the first concert I attended when I was 13. It's a case of, if he wasn't married to a bloke, I'd go and have his babies type of thing.

With that said, there's a few songs off the album that I could list as my favorites. These are ones that I don't mind putting on repeat, the ones I learn the words to in a few days, the ones Steve hates (he's not much of a fan, he's more an 80s-type).

This is the second song off the album, 'Who Would of Thought'. This one moves me more than any other song on the album--it's difficult to describe. It's one of those cases where to me, I wish I had been able to write something like this, or to express myself in this way. I guess it could be described as a song of lost love, or unrequited love, forbidden love--whatever really. And it could apply to almost everyone's life, since who hasn't had one of those types (or all of those types) of love in their life before?

'Casey'. Darren Hayes talks about how he romanticizes his past, and how he misses it. I think this song is one of many (maybe in the vein of Crush [1980 Me]) that address that longing. I just like it, I don't know why.

'Step Into the Light'. The music video for this song fits the song quite well, and it's one of those pseudo dance track type of songs I can put on repeat and listen to for hours while playing WoW.

'On the Verge of Something Wonderful'. One of those songs I listen to when I'm in a funk, since it's not emo and moody and such. Slightly random video in some respects, but very Darren Hayes I think.

Other songs on the album that are my favorites are 'The Sun is Always Blinding Me', 'Lucky Town', 'A Hundred Challenging Things a Boy Can Do' and 'Listen All You People'. Awesome fucking album, and it makes me excited to see what he's putting out for 2011--and since I live in the UK, I would pee myself if I ever got to see one of his concerts. But I probably won't :( But I can dream anyway.



Sep. 1st, 2010 10:46 am
whitenoise: (Default)
This won't be a Blog Challenge 30 Day post today. I can't really be arsed to do anything more complex than type, and I need to go onto youtube for the next entry. Maybe tomorrow, but don't hold me to it.

I'm just going to blather on about stuff that's been happening in general. This weekend will be my amg one year anniversary of coming to the UK and I'm...meh. It doesn't particularly excite me in the way I'd expect/hope for. We may go out for dinner or something, Steve mentioned booking a table for Saturday night, for Indian or whatever. I'm not sure what we'll end up doing, and like I said, I'm very blah about it. That's not to say I'm not appreciative to be here, and to be with Steve, not at all. Maybe it's just some depressive slump where I can't really get particularly excited about *anything* /shrug

I had one of my rare moments of pure anxiety this last weekend, and it was really lame since it was all over WoW. I went to lunch with Steve's folks just fine--had a lovely time at a chinese buffet in Weston Favell (huge buttfucking shopping mall area here in Northampton). There was a bunch of people I didn't know there, but Steve didn't know them either so it was a bit easier than it'd normally be, and Steve's sister made it a point to sit near us and chat. I even got to chase after her two year old as he went running through the restaurant, and goddamn is he heavy--and it doesn't help when they wiggle either O.o With that said--still want a babeh. But that's another post.

We had our weekly raid scheduled with our guild for Sunday evening. It was Razorscale, who resides in Ulduar--a raid I've never been in save the first bit to farm love tokens during Valentine's Day (before they nerfed it). I thought it'd be fine, easy peasy--till I realized we had to go through Flame Levithan to get to Razorscale. And I hadn't ever done vehicle combat before in Ulduar. And the RL paired me up with the guild leader in one vehicle, and then I just freaked. I panicked. I got the worst hot flash ever, and I just told Steve I had to leave--I kept repeating it over and over until I just got out of my chair and ran upstairs to bed, leaving my mage logged in. Thankfully Steve sorted it all out and told them I wasn't feeling well, and once they sorted out their numbers they were able to down Razorscale. But no, I couldn't fucking handle it since I'm such a big baby, and I freaked. It seems like I'm always anxious and worried about something lately, or I'm irritiable, or whatever, and while I don't like myself like this, I also don't fancy the notion of telling a random stranger about all my problems. The only reason why I'm able to write about it here is because the internet creates that buffer zone between people that I find most comforting. Bleh. So we'll see what the weekly is this week, but I'll be pugging them from now on--no more signing up for anything with the guild for the foreseeable future.

Now time to kick Iain off the Digimon, since it's fucking eating into our bandwith >.<



Aug. 31st, 2010 10:00 am
whitenoise: (Default)
Yeah, I'm well late for the next 30 day challenge thing, but I blame it on the weekends. I hate using LJ when everyone is around since my monitor is HUGE and everyone can see what I write : /

With that said, Day 2 (or in my case Entry 2) is about your family, in detail. Not a subject I lurve, but I'll give it my best shot.

My family mainly consists of my mom, as far as I'm concerned. I have other relatives--she was the middle child of 3, so I have an aunt and an uncle as well with cousins. My oldest cousin (who's as old as Steve, whoa) has two children. I don't know a ton about my dad's side of the family, except that he had two brothers--one I *kinda* keep in contact with (now not so much that I've moved to the UK, which is okay since he always had a knack for bugging the fuck out of me every time they visited) and one who I've never met. He wasn't particularly close to his family, so I don't know that side as well as I know my mom's (for better or for worse).

I'm an only child (as y'all well know). My parents were older when they had me, and my mom had some issues when she was pregnant with me (mainly hypertension), so they never did have another kid. Both my parents grew up in fairly middle class families in California--both were married prior to meeting each other, and as far as I know they didn't have any other children (I only say that since wouldn't it be insanely awkward if my dad did have children before me and we just never knew about them...or something). My dad served in Vietnam and was honorably discharged; my mom's first husband went AWOL and she can tell you stories about how the FBI visited her to try and find him (she had no idea where he was at the time, but he eventually showed back up at some point).

My mom is the only one who I really miss out of all my family in the States. She's the one I visit when we go back Stateside every year. The rest of my family is either depressed, cranky, too nosy, or judgemental. No one really bothered to even talk to me and Steve when we came back for our visit this year despite all this crap about wanting to see us--and I couldn't really be arsed to bother. I flew 5,000 miles to visit people and they couldn't even be bothered to pick up a phone, so whatever. It didn't leave me heartbroken by any means, but it did piss my mom off a bit.

Kinda ironic about how this entry is so much about my mom, today--it's her 60th birthday. I feel like a total turd that I can't be there for it :(

Anyways, yeah. My mom has been through more than I could ever imagine--she lost her father to cancer when she was 16, got married, got divorced at 29, got her first job at 30, married my dad at 34 and had me when she was 35. She lost my dad when he passed away in 1994, raised me as a single parent--she had a hysterectomy in 1999 to remove a 25 pound tumor from her ovary. Thankfully it wasn't cancerous, but it was quite an ordeal since she had never had any major medical issues beforehand and never had a surgery--and I was freaking since I was convinced she was going to die and leave me alone at 14. She got breast cancer in 2002--thankfully it was relatively small, stage one which was treated with six weeks of radiation therapy and five years of meds. This last year she had bacterial pneumonia, which left her in the hospital for 10 days and six weeks of daily visits to the doctors for intravenous antibiotics. That was probably the scariest thing I've been through in all of her medical 'issues'--it was so sudden, and I was 5,000 miles away. I had to rely on a family that could hardly be arsed to even try to call me--no, they tried to tell me everything over my wall on Facebook, wtf? Heaven forbid they use my mom's landline which is enabled to call international, and dial the fucking number that's written out next to the phone (with all applicable international dialing codes). No, just broadcast all your crap on my Facebook so I can read it the next day that my mom is in hospital >.<

The doctors said if she had waited a week longer, she'd be dead. But thankfully they're fucking awesome and she was awesome and she pulled through. Steve was fucking awesome since he was ready to book me a ticket back to Oregon if I needed it, and he didn't mind the late-night phone calls when my one cousin decided to call me to tell me my mom was out of surgery (the cousin everyone dogs I might add and bitches about--he went and got an international calling card because he knew I was scared and wanted an update).

I guess I could include my in-laws as well, urgh. Steve's the oldest out of two children, so he has his younger (by 13 months) sister and her two children. He also has his mum and stepdad, and his real dad who I guess is a huge douche. They haven't spoken in two years--Steve wants nothing to do with him and won't let anyone in the family give his dad his cell phone number. Of course the MIL gets all pissy since the dad bugs her for it constantly and she takes it out on Steve, but he has a right to keep his number private from someone he doesn't want to talk to. I think it's time for his dad to fuck off--he claims he can't get in touch with Steve, but he tried to friend me on Facebook (wtf?). It's quite easy for anybody to at least find Steve's basic profile through mine (mine is a goddamn open book I think), so he could of tried through there but he didn't. I've never met the man, so I thought it was weird I'd get a friend request from him--which I ignored. Fuck that shit.

So, in a nutshell that's my folks. They're kinda fucked up, and honestly I really don't miss them save my mom who I miss fucking loads and loads. She's much of the reason I'm homesick, since I get sad when I think of the last big hug she gave me the night before we left to come back to the UK. She knew I was sad to leave, and afterwards I just cried like a big baby to Steve when we were in bed. I know my mom will love me no matter what, and she knows all my little oddities, my likes and dislikes, my opinions, everything really--she's my mum. It breaks my heart when she says she misses me and wants me to come back for a visit soon, and she wants me to maybe come back for a trip on my own for a little so I can stay longer--maybe 3-4 weeks since we're severely limited by Steve's holiday leave at work. Boo. We'll see though--if I think about this too much I'll get weepy.



Aug. 25th, 2010 09:18 am
whitenoise: (condoms)
I nicked this from [livejournal.com profile] giddyromance, it's a 30 Day Blog Challenge. I don't know if it'll be 30 consecutive days since I generally don't use LJ/blogs on the weekends, but meh. I like the idea even if I fudge the rules a bit.

Soooo, onto the first topic: A description of you, in detail.

Oh snap, I have to talk about myself--when do I ever do that? (/sarcasm)

As many of you probably know (if you are friended to me on Facebook anyways) my name is Tammy. Though a good portion of you also refer to me as Tams (and so does Steve and the kids), so I will answer to that. I was born on May 22nd, 1985 in San Jose, California--both of my parents were in their second marriages at the time, and in their mid-thirties when they had me. As such, I magically became an only child, but thankfully I was too shy and introvert to care whether or not I had siblings. I much prefered/prefer it that way, if only because it gave me a relatively quiet childhood. Woot.

When I was 8, we moved from California to the suburbs outside Portland, Oregon. My dad got a job transfer out there, and much of my mom's family had already moved into that area for their own jobs, so it was quite a natural progression. Starting a new school during second grade was terrifying--I remember how shy I was, and how scary the other kids were--unfortunately those thoughts didn't stay behind in my childhood *frowny face*

When I was 9, my dad passed away from a massive heart attack. I won't go into the details much except that I was the first one to find him, and I think that despite my denials, that has affected me in a much larger way than I could of ever imagined. But I also don't consciously dwell on it since that's silly--but it's probably responsible for starting a lot of the problems I had today. Ironically enough, the anniversary of his death is September 3rd--the anniversary of my arrival in the UK is September 4th. But that wasn't really intentional, just a convenient flight really. When my dad died, me and my mom moved in with my aunt, and moved into a huge 5 bedroom house so everyone wasn't stepping on each others toes and we could all have seperate bedrooms (my cousin also lived with us at the time, so it was a bit cramped in her three bedroom place).

Things were pretty uneventful from that point. I went to school, had a couple friends but really I just kept to myself. I never went to a 'proper' college mainly since I didn't think I'd ever be good enough to get into one--a common habit of mine is to second guess myself unfortunately. Plus I didn't want to waste the money/get loans for something that wouldn't benefit me in the end, and I realized the major I wanted (English) would keep me in retail hell for the rest of my life since I really couldn't think of anything practical I wanted to do with it. I graduated high school with little fanfare, bummed around for a couple years unsuccessfully trying to get jobs (I am *horrible* with interviews, urgh). I had a LDR with someone from Texas for about a year or so which ended in a huge ball of fail--he was tired of dicking around with our relationship, and I was tired of it as well. Not to say I'm peaches and cream to be with, but I felt I was putting in way more effort than he was, and he decided it was a better option to drive to California to fuck a 16 year old than it was to continue on with me. Which all worked out in the end since he really is a pretentious cock and I think we would of murdered each other had we hooked up.

Shortly after the end of that relationship, I threw myself into a technical school. I had put it off once before because of my relationship with the boy from Texas--I didn't want to tie myself down to Oregon. But now that that was over, I decided to finally go for it--they had a 7 month medical assisting course which I signed up for. I graduated with a 4.0 and Perfect Attendance, but never ended up getting a medical assisting job since the school sucked and my externship sucked and I sucked. I did get certified though, but a lot of good that does me now.

In the midst of all this, I had another short-lived fail relationship (when the bloke admits he cheated on his last girl 10+ times you should probably run away, but I was desperate v.v). Then I started talking to a good friend of mine again, as he made his online presence more known. I had this British friend since I was 16 when I used to roleplay online--we exchanged brief conversations over the course of 4 or 5 years, but nothing major due to the time difference (8+ hours) and him working all the time. He told me his wife was leaving and getting a divorce and taking the kids with her--to say I was a bit shocked is an understatement. As far as I had understood the last I had spoken with him, things were peachy keen, and now they were divorcing. I was sad since they had *seemed* happy, but I tried to help him as best as I could. Over time we talked more and more, and we actually made it a point to talk to each other--he'd make time before going to work to chat with me, I'd send him emails while he was at work, etc. I even gave him my cell phone number which he then left a voicemail on while he was at work--and I think that first move was vitally important. It gave me a real tangible connection with this person I had been talking to for years, and why the fuck did it matter so much anyway, he was just a friend.

As we all well know, Steve did end up coming over to the US in 2006 to visit, to break the ice and all that jazz. And it's been going strong ever since, over 5,000 miles, 8 hour time differences, age differences and all that (he's 39, I'm 25). It wasn't easy by any means--I cried enough tears at airports and had enough painful goodbyes to last a good long while. There were so many times where I didn't think we'd make it this far, that there was all this crap in the way, but like Steve says when he wants something he gets it. And that I should adopt that attitude as well, but I'm far more pessimistic than he is.

We were married on May 27th, 2009 in Oregon. I got my spousal visa at the beginning of July, and moved over to the UK in September. It's been bloody hard--my brain hasn't caught up with the fact that I'm actually *living* with him, that I see him every day. I miss my mom so bad though, and if I could have it my way I'd have both of them with me. England is incredibly hard to adjust to as a resident--little things piss me off, or don't make sense to me and I find myself trying to figure them out and it angers me. But it might be one of those things that time will heal. I still have a lot of issues to work through, and I go through my tough spells.

In my spare time, I play World of Warcraft (duh), read, write--very boring things really. But maybe I'm just a boring, quiet person. I do enjoy my time alone--I don't need someone there 24/7 to entertain me, but that's not to say I don't get lonely sometimes. I also like cats I guess? I left one in the States (Pepper) who died this last February after 17 years (goddamn he was kinda old); I have one here as well (Gahzbag) who's a bastard as well, but I love him to pieces. If I had it my way he'd be indoors all the time, but the English have some weird thing where if you suggest that, they look at you like you have fucking leprosy >.<

Now I've run out of things to say kinda. I guess all of that is me in a nutshell--I could go into loads of more angsty crap but not today.



Aug. 13th, 2010 08:56 am
whitenoise: (Default)
I really wish Steve would get angry sometimes. Like the whole HM Revenue saying we owe them 300 quid for whatever reason--they don't explain any of it in the letter, nor give any information about even paying them back. They just do a bunch of math and come to a £300 conclusion.

I wish he'd get pissed off. Not berate the person you get on the phone type of thing, but it's okay to tell them to shove the child tax credit. It's a fucking £10 a week at that, and fuck me, it's not making much of a difference as it stands right now. Let the money go to other people who need it, and then have HM Revenue come back and demand money from them for their mistakes. He said he can't tell them to shove it--why not? I wasn't saying he had to be nasty or use fuck and shit and ass and stuff on the phone, but really. Especially since you try to call them, and they put you on hold for 20 minutes while the credit on your phone goes down--so they want £300, plus all of the credit on his cell phone so he can finally talk to someone. Lovely. There's nothing wrong with telling them to shove the credit up their butt, especially since we'll stop getting it once Iain turns 16 pretty much. Steve, get angry--it's okay. HM Revenue/IRS usually deserves it because they're so antiquated and convoluted--seriously, the tax credit system here can fuck itself. I'm still wondering why they don't just cut his tax bracket a little and let him take home that £10 a week instead. Oh wait, no, they can't, since they love tax revenue, and doling out tax credits is an awesome form of control and job security for the twats who work for HM Revenue. I forgot, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm cranky today. I'm done with summer holidays, it's rainy, and I get to go brave the lines at Boots today to get Steve's pills since he's all out. Neither of us can sleep very well at night anymore, so we're both zombies during the day, and urgh. I'm pretty certain Iain will go to his mom's next week while Steve's in Glasgow since his mate will be back in town and it just makes life easier. No skin off my nose.

I feel kinda bad for Steve's GM though--last month he flew to Australia for two weeks for work--middle of winter, so he said it was miserable. This week, he flew back out to Australia on Monday, and he's flying back today--he was there for a whopping 2 days or so. Poor guy, Steve says he looks a bit ragged nowadays, and I don't blame him. Fuck, haven't they heard of Skype?

Steve and the IT guy at work are planning an awesome PC for Steve--the guy will build it since computers are his life and he's willing to do it for a decent price. I guess they spent all day Tuesday talking about it since they share an office, since I think Steve wants a sturdier machine for WoW, at least downstairs--the laptop can go on his desk upstairs. I'd like to upgrade this beast before Cataclysm since it's a bit laggy with my current UI, but whatever.

And ICC tonight--holy shit, I'm scared :O I'll just pewpew my little heart out, and not stand in the frosty shit.



Aug. 11th, 2010 11:30 pm
whitenoise: (condoms)
Oh balls, guess who can't sleep again? *raises hand*

Mmmk. In brief RL news, Steve will be heading to Glasgow next week for a couple days--his secretary and PA (well, not really *his* personally but it still sounds awesome) are making all the arrangements. The week after that will be either Leeds or Brighton (or both), so meh. Iain's friend is coming back from holiday next week, so he mentioned maybe stopping around his mom's for the couple days since she lives closer to this friend than we do. The big thing is Iain likes to take his laptop around to his friend's house, but Steve won't let him walk all the way up there with a huge laptop bag in tow, so yeah. One can only hope, since he might drive me to distraction after 48 hours of just the two of us.

It's a little under a month before my one year anniversary of living in the UK...and I'm a bit meh about it really. I still haven't developed a really great relationship with England--I don't think it's still sunk in that I'm actually *with* Steve. That part is fucking awesome, it's just everything else around it that I'm lukewarm about. I still don't feel like I fit in, I'm still scared to leave the house, and really...I can't be arsed. I almost don't care about it, except how it might possibly affect my marriage. Otherwise, I don't really give two shits, since caring requires an effort I'm not willing to extend at the moment. My ideal world would be one in which I get a shiny green pill every day, but I don't think it'll be that easy to get one. I can't even really be arsed to go into the doctor, not that she works very often anyway. But yeah, Steve--I <3 him to death. England--we need to work on it.

In WoW news, I now have epic flying on all 4 of my level 80s. I figured it might be wise to hunker down and do it since we'll be able to fly in Cataclysm. It actually wasn't that painful between doing dailies and selling some stuff on the AH, and now it's done and I can get on with fun stuff.

I still want t10 on my mage--but I don't think I'll ever get enough frosties for that. With that said, I found some bollocks and signed up for my guild's ICC 10 man for this Friday. They'll start with Marrowgar and *try* to get to the Blood Princes, and while I'm terrified of failing, I'm also tired of just sitting on the sidelines. Steve's coming with me on his pally, who might become his new main with Cataclysm, so fingers crossed I don't wipe our raid out on Friday. I'm also signed as a reserve for Saturday, so yeah.



Aug. 9th, 2010 08:13 am
whitenoise: (Default)
I completely fucked up my UI. Seriously. Backed up my old one and everything, and when Steve's UI file didn't work I tried to put my old one back in, and it realllly didn't work. So, in a fit of frustration I said fuck it, heaven forbid my LUI actually *look* like it should. So here's to me spending all of today sorting something out before our weekly raid tonight (Naxx lololol). Fuck.



Aug. 6th, 2010 11:27 am
whitenoise: (Default)
I suppose I should write something here. I'm alive, I think? Just can't be arsed to write much, since nothing really happens that's worthy of me writing about. Steve's going to go to Glasgow and Edinburgh for work within the next couple of weeks--and he's thinking they'll want him out for 3-4 days or maybe even a week. Iain mentioned something about staying here for the week, since it's likely it'll still be summer holidays for him. I'll slit my throat if he does, urgh. I think me and the cat by ourselves could get on quite well.

Waiting on the delivery peeps to bring our new refridgerator today. I like the whole 12-6pm window they have, that's so specific when dealing with frozen food that we had to send to Steve's ex-wife's house for the day since we had to defrost ours. And we have the kids tonight. And they seriously need to go back to school, fucking lazy pricks the whole lot of them. Thankfully we'll be doing back to school shopping soon, September can't really come fast enough--not that I'm wishing away my life, I'd hate to do that :(

Oh, and WoW. Still doing that too.



Jul. 1st, 2010 09:37 am
whitenoise: (condoms)
So yeah, the NDA has been lifted on Cata, and stuff. I'm not going to go on for ages about every little detail, but I will say what I've seen is fucking epic so far.

But the troll druid forms--dear god, no. Please Blizzard, change those, they've been beaten severely with ugly sticks.

But I'm getting really excited for Cataclysm, and I told myself I wouldn't spoil it by looking at stuff on MMO and shit, but whatevers. It's awesome.



Jun. 25th, 2010 02:36 pm
whitenoise: (mstk2)
I'm still here, just not very vocal : /

Going to Yarmouth tomorrow with the kids--3-4 hrs back and forth. It'll be interesting since we're leaving at 6am, and I'm praying we don't have any dramas/fighting. I will seriously slap a bitch if that happens.

I hate the heat here in the Midlands--compared to where I lived in the US, it's humid as shit. I'd kill for a dry heat (dry being subjective of course), and I'd kill to not wake up with my entire head ready to explode. Thankfully I have a huge stash of US drugs to tide me through the summer since everything from the UK makes me feel even worse.

I'm expecting another care package after the first of the month. I'll be getting Chicken in a Biscuit thingies, and Wheat Thins, and all that good stuff. My mom fucking rocks since it costs her upwards of 50 bucks a package, but she knows I miss my junk food.

It's just slightly depressing when I have to hoard my boxes of Cheezits like they're fucking gold. I'm tired of trying to explain things to Steve, to see if they even have UK equivalents of what I'm used to. I'm sick of Steve's mates playing 20 questions while trying to explain things to me, to make sure we're thinking of the same thing. I'm tired of only being able to talk to my mom twice a week, and I miss her cooking--when she mentions what she's making for dinner, I just get kinda sad panda.

I love Steve to bits, don't get me wrong--but if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here. Ever. And maybe I'd be perfectly content with that. Or, if it wasn't for the kids (as much as they're awesome), he would of found a way to come to the US. He's fed up with England--he's fed up with working his ass off, and then working even longer and harder to bail out irresponsible governments. The same thing is happening in the US as well, but he's just sick of a lot of things over here, and he says he'd find it much easier to adjust to the US than I have adjusting to the UK.

I'm already planning out my next trip to the States, but it'll be a little meh since we'll have Ella with us. I sometimes sit and think back to the way things used to be, and as miserable as I was at times, living with my mom was pretty awesome as well. But the nature of my relationship with Steve is I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't--and I need to accept that. It's no one's fault, and not really a case of fault, just saddness really. I'll always feel like a little part of me is back in the States, just because that's how I am.

I think the heat is getting to me. Sad that 70 is considered 'hot', but being stoned on Benadryl doesn't help my chain of thoughts either.

*off to play WoW*



Jun. 9th, 2010 10:57 am
whitenoise: (4thofjuly)
I'm still on the laptop--it's magically working (kinda) again, so I'll go with it for today since WoW's graphics are better on here. The only bitch is tweeking my UI for a much smaller screen, and if maintenance ever finished I'd be able to get around to it, bugger. I'm going to try tinkering with Power Auras since I've always been too lazy to work with it, but a load of people swear by it, so I figured I'd give it a go.

The only bitch about running three death knights through the dungeon finder tool is when they all live in the same house--me, Steve and Iain rolled against the Needle Encrusted Scorpion thingy in PoS(h) and Steve won. He was going to give it to me or Iain, but I badgered him into giving it to Iain since it's his fucking son, and I can buy one with emblems or something. Maybe. Meh.

Steve's back at work--his back is still a bit sore, but he was up at his desk last night without too many problems. As long as he keeps up on his codeine and ibuprofen he should be okay, along with taking it a bit slow. And he's still off work this Friday for his MOT and Monday...well, just because.

Like I said on FB, I'm finally starting to get into the World Cup spirit a little, if only for the match this weekend. It's like the Soccer Gods (or the Flying Spaghetti Monster) thought it'd be hilarious to match the US and England together off the bat to see who can epically fail more. I don't really expect us to win since soccer is ever so slightly less popular in the US than England--but, I'd piss myself laughing if we did manage to win. I feel a little bad though, since there's Team England shit *everywhere* and I can't get anything cool for Team USA :( I'd like to buy the official team's jacket from Nike, but I don't have a cool 100 bucks hanging around looking pretty. But, I did buy 'official' Team England coffee mugs (I don't really think they're official at all, but they're not plastic so that's nice) for really cheap. I bought one for myself since it's a lot smaller than my other ones, and good for travelling. I also bought one for my mom for August--it'll be her birthday, and I want to send her a small package as a present. I figure if I get a few of the less tacky England items, and some chocolate or biscuits that might be good, since I want to get things she'd only find in England (to the best of my ability anyway). So, I'll hide the spare one upstairs and see what I can do for a package since it's already June.

Oh, and Lady Antebellum--'Need You Now' is bloody brilliant. I downloaded it since bugger to buying the whole CD for one song, or fucking with Steve's iTunes account. I never missed country music before moving over here, but I do miss it a bit if only for the unique American-ness I associate with it, removing it from the other stuff I typically hear over here.



Jun. 7th, 2010 11:10 am
whitenoise: (Default)
Epic fail on Saturday night--Steve threw his back out when we were out at the pub. We were sat outside in the beer garden at picnic tables when it started to piss down rain and lightning--so we went to get up and go outside. While doing so, he twisted his back wrong, but he brushed it off since it twinges every so often and it's usually no big deal. But, it got worse as the night went on, and we had to leave early since it was really starting to play up.

Cue Steve on the floor since he had a spasm when he tried to lay down and rolled off the bed to relieve it--thankfully Ella's mattress is down there, so he was able to sleep on that relatively comfortably. He was hurting so bad he finally called 999 since he couldn't get through to After Hours care, and a couple hours later they dispatched a paramedic who did what he could--he tried to do some leg tests (i.e. bringing Steve's knees up to his chest, etc) but it was too painful, even after he gave him some laughing gas to try and relax him. So, the paramedic prescribed some diazepam (which Steve loves since he uses it go to go the dentist with), codeine for the pain, and diclofenac for the inflammation. I'm not sure if he's going to go see a GP or not even though the paramedic recommended he do so--it's one of those things that has to clear up on its own. With that said, we may have to go anyway so he can get a note from his doctor for work, since he can't picture being able to go back in until the middle of the week.

So now we're upstairs since he can't sit at his desk, but I brought his laptop up so he could play WoW. He got my old laptop working again (for the time being) but I'm not playing WoW or anything on it since my UI would be all fucked anyway. But egads, I was so scared for him Saturday night since I've never seen him in such agony before, but the meds seem to be doing their job and Steve seems pretty optimistic about the whole thing. Thankfully this has only played up twice in the last 15 years, and we both might try to make appointments tomorrow with Dr. Davies since I need to go back for a follow up after my blood pressure/ECG results.

Speaking of doctors, my pap smear went fairly well last week--it was all done in five minutes, and it didn't hurt as much as last time. The nurse was fairly nice, but I'm kicking myself since I told her to shred the letter they sent in the post when I should of kept it for Ye Olde All Might UKBA, but meh.

Words, and stuff.



May. 27th, 2010 09:09 am
whitenoise: (girly)
My ECG from yesterday was normal, and the nurse had me try the BP machine in the waiting room--I got 168/86, which isn't *horribly* high, and that's how it was like in the States. The doctor seemed happy and she wants to see me in a couple weeks, but the receptionist explained to me that I'll have to phone up on the 8th, since they can't make appointments in advance until the new computer system is fully in place. Color me surprised at the new electronic ECGs--no paper is printed out, it's all done on the computer and put electronically into a patient's chart. When I was in MA school, they taught us the old school method of printing the paper and cutting into 3 or 4 segments (depending on if it was 10 or 12 lead) and pasting it onto a piece of paper. But, it all went well, so no big deal. We'll see what the doctor wants to do when she sees me next, and I still have my Pap smear next week which I'm still looking forward to : /

I'm still trying to summon the energy to go to Boots. I need some new shampoo and conditioner, and there's a few brands I'd like to try to tame my hair--it's way too dry and broken, and if I quit being a cheap ass and buy something decent I might get somewhere with it. I've also decided I'm going to start a makeup collection--get one nail polish, one eye and lip liner and shit per month and Steve said he'll set me up some sort of shelving unit to house all my girly items. I still have 20 quid to blow so I might just spend it on that since I need all the help I can get in that department, and hopefully my hair sorts itself out. I still desperately think I need to get my hair professionally cut, but the thought of going into a random hair place here scares the holy bejesus out of me. Fail.

Oooo, Steve told me to expect him to come home with buttloads of boxes today from work. Why? We're getting 70 rolls of toilet paper from DHL--they ordered 'American' sized rolls but they won't fit on the dispensers at work, so they asked Steve if he wanted them. I figure why not, it's something we're all bound to use at some point, and it beats me having to make sure we have enough every week or so (we go through *loads* of it around here). I guess that's our 1st anniversary gift? lol forever since the 1st anniversary is supposed to be a paper gift.



May. 26th, 2010 08:31 am
whitenoise: (Default)
Herp derp.

So yeah, the BP machines they use at the surgery don't like me, and couldn't get a reading. Instead of using a manual cuff (oh noes), the doctor scheduled an ECG today for me since that can give you a BP reading, along with checking for heart murmurs and shit. None of my doctors in the US ever said anything, and they never had a problem finding my BP on a manual cuff, but whatever. She's not terribly concerned since my pulse seemed normal (she said there was a couple skips but everything was within normal ranges), but she also can't do anything much until she gets a baseline BP. So, that's at 2pm, but I'll head out at 1 so I can poke around Boots--it only takes like 5 minutes max to get to the surgery, which is pretty awesome.

I also have my Pap smear scheduled for next Thursday at 2pm. I'm *so* looking forward to it, but I need to do it, and I won't need another one for 3 years, so I'll get it out of the way. Like the doctor said, it'll take some time for me to build a medical record in the UK, but she's incredibly nice so that's a plus.

Speaking of the doctor, Steve needs to schedule his blood work--I think he's planning that for the 11th, since he took the day off to do his MOT. It'll be an expensive month between MOT and Road Tax, but nothing he can't handle I suppose. We're also thinking about rescheduling Yarmouth, since I think both of us need a quiet weekend--especially since his certification test is next Friday. No skin off my nose, it's not like there isn't plenty of summer left.

And, Taco Bell down London-way. One of these days it better make it's way up to Northampton at least, that's pretty ghey otherwise :(



May. 25th, 2010 08:49 am
whitenoise: (blackadder)
If I could get through to the surgery here in town center, it'd be fucking awesome. Friday I was constantly getting a busy signal, now I'm getting endless ringing--the line isn't busy, but no one is picking up. I'll try later on today, even though they say to call first thing, but obviously that blows.

I miss my friend Grant from back home--we had this long conversation on Facebook on my wall and god, I just want to hang out with him again. We were talking about MST3k and South Park and it made me laugh so hard, and Steve couldn't figure out why. I found some MST3K dvds on amazon.co.uk, but they're all region 1 *and* they warn about custom duties/taxes, etc. I can also buy them from amazon.com and have my mom ship them to me in her next care package, which I may have her do--it'll end up being cheaper and less of a hassle, and Steve can fuck with the region coding on the computers so I can watch them. Fuck you VAT.


ninja edit: haha, suck it. Finally got through, and magically, Dr. Davies has a slot at 2pm today. Urgh, I'm nervous since I haven't seen a doctor in 4 years (I think?), but Steve says she's nice enough. And also like he said, they don't even know my blood type, so it might help to have some sort of medical records here in the UK. Dur.


whitenoise: (Default)

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